please don't have sex in disabled bathrooms if you're abled. we need somewhere to have sex too

lets all click on the source of the gif

Killed a spider n now I feel bad :/

Why did you say that

Okay, so it takes 9 months to make a baby human; that’s about 3 kg.

A baby spider, by contrast, weighs about 1 mg; roughly 3 million times lighter.

So...you could give birth to a healthy baby spider in about...8 seconds? Like it’s not a big inconvenience.

tumblr user saturnine-powerbomb is on the other side of the cave, churning out spiders as fast as Georg can shovel them into his mouth

“I’ll just rest my eyes” is the biggest lie you’re going straight to snorkmimimi land

i reblogged this and immediately "rested my eyes." for four hours

Reblog to send your mutuals to snorkmimimi land

he is in preschool do you love him

whats he studying?

toys and playtime

oh i’m sure he is a pleasure to have in class!

Microbelr

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idk if im actually bi or nit but i have an 8 am class tomorrow cant worry about that

collect my pages

but my. Bio lab tomorrow mr. slender sir. I cant do this

I love it when dogs try to help but the task at hand requires zero dogs so they just kinda stand in front of you and look serious.

middle aged men do this too

clucky the chicken by bunnies by the bay (x)

its sooooo dumb that the days of the week are a thing we have extremely broad standardization on. i should have to be like, oh my mutual who lives in the 6 day week country... i think its 4sday for them??

honestly i dont need therapy i need a machine to go into my body and manually stretch all my muscles and crack all my joints and then i need the machine to go into my brain and deep clean it with soapy hot water

The greatest tragedy of Among Us is making friends and then accidentally disconnecting before you get to say goodbye

I just... I wound up hosting for a bit, and a player by the name “Dad of 3” came in to join my game

He was... well. Clueless is an understatement. When I say he has no idea what was going on, I mean the second round he was in he SLAMMED the alarm button and said “my screen said imposter what does that mean”

“It means you’re the bad guy this time, dad,” We explained. “But next time try and keep it secret, okay?”

“Okay”

The next round, he killed another player right in front of me and immediately self-reported.

“I got my first kill,” he said.

“Good job, dad!” we all replied. “You’re getting it”

He was so proud, next round, when he helped us catch the killer. And we were proud for him. He was trying so hard.

His kids showed him the game, he said — “Look dad a meme” — so he was playing it for them.

“What’s sus” he had to ask. “Is it inappropriate?” “No dad. It’s short for suspicious, because suspicious is a lot to type.” “What’s gg?” “It means good game” “ok. Thank u. gg”

Two rounds later, he slammed the alarm again. “My map looks different,” he said. “There are buttons on it”

“That means you’re the bad guy again, dad. You push them to sabotage us. Try it out”

We spent that round watching Dad of 3 gleefully pop in and out of vents at random and press all the buttons just to see what they did

“Have you killed anyone yet dad?” “No. It feels strange.” “It’s okay. It’s just a game. You can kill us if you want to practice.”

He was trying so hard. I don’t know if he’d ever even played a video game before, but he was trying so hard to understand this thing his kids enjoyed, and my little group of strangers was doing our best to help him get there.

I’m so proud of that random father’s effort, and I’m proud of all the other players who were so willing to help him learn.

Then out of nowhere he was gone. Mid-round, Dad of 3 vanished to a bad connection, and I’m legitimately sad. I’d hoped we’d get the chance to play a round for real, and I’d have liked the chance to wish him luck and say goodbye.

But since I can’t do that, I’m throwing this into the void: I hope you have a nice time, Dad of 3, and I hope we were able to help you learn so you can have fun with your kids.

Good luck out there, buddy.

Daybreak says hello.